Family invited to pilot husband's interview

Question:
I am just wondering how common it is for the wife and kids to be asked to an interview. I have been with my husband to one of his interviews. They paid both our expenses too. It was a very nice experience.

My husband is now interviewing for a new job and they asked for the whole family to come. I am worried about one of my boys and what the CP will think when he meets him. My son is special needs. I just don't want the impression that my husband cannot handle the job because he has a disabled child.

Do you think there is a way we can bow out graciously and my husband still get the job? Or is this one of those we should do for my husband to show we are supportive of his career?
I just don't want to cost him a job because of our presence or our absence.

Answer:
Well, I have thought long and hard about your “situation,” and there are a couple of ways you can approach this. Both ways are perfectly valid, but maybe I can provide a little different perspective.

First, you can approach it from the “legal” standpoint and be suspect of the motivation of the company. However, along with this approach comes an air of superficiality from you. This includes coming across as the “Beaver Cleaver” family, complete with the picket fence, football captains, cheerleaders, Olympic athletes and rocket scientists. The legality of actually “interviewing” you and your family could come under question. After all, it’s your husband who is actually going to be performing the work – Why would they have to know what makes his family tick? But honestly, is it worth the worry?

A different approach, and one I encourage you to take, is one of welcoming the rare opportunity that you are being invited to participate in. Thirty years ago it was commonplace for airlines and aviation companies to invite the family to the headquarters for as much as a week in order to experience where the pilot of the family would be working. It ended up being a win-win situation, whereby the company was given the opportunity to “win over” the family, creating a situation where the family was completely on board with the employment opportunity being offered. Simultaneously, the company was able to gain real insight about the family dynamic that exists within applicant.

With changing economic times, a lot of the focus on the pilot being part of a bigger family (not just the pilot’s spouse and children) has gone by the wayside, and the phenomenon of the “aviation widow” has become more and more prevalent. I have to wonder if this company is trying to change that trend.

The opportunity you have to show off what a caring and warm family you have is a rare one, an opportunity that should be maximized. This appears to be a company that definitely goes above and beyond – imagine the expense and time involved in flying every applicant’s family out for a familiarization process! What a fantastic opportunity to let the “real you” shine. Your son with special needs is absolutely, unequivocally something to be proud of, and your absolute patience and support for your entire family is something you should hold your head high about, and make sure they see the authentic, caring and compassionate parents that you are. Nobody is perfect, and this company, like so many others, is looking to see the whole candidate. The difference between them and so many other companies is they appear to take an interest in the candidate’s family as well. That is unique.

Remember – you and your husband are interviewing the company, just as much as the company is interviewing you and your husband. They want to see exactly what you already offer.

It is truly anybody’s guess as to the motivation of the invitation. But, knowing that the ultimate objective of any company is to obtain a solid return on investment from each employee they hire, I would embrace the invitation to show them your family’s devotion to your husband’s career and in the end the company’s success. Have fun with it, don’t be suspicious about it, and let them see all that you are.

Regards,
Lori Clark